I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
Bill Simmons sucks.
I’ll even bold it.
Bill Simmons SUCKS.
I’ll continue saying it until he stops posting diarrhea on ESPN.com and calling it a “story”. Did you see his latest writing? Don’t bother. He masturbated all over the Red Sox. Predictable, but disgusting. Just disgusting. I can’t imagine anyone who hasn’t been a Red Sox fan since childhood even being able to get through his 1000 words. It was just unbearable.
Did I imagine it, or did he promise not to write about the Sox ever again if they won in 2004? And did they win in 2004? What happened to the sweet relief that was promised us? Lies, all lies.
I already hate ESPN. Aside from showing a few decent college football games a year (and only a few… what was horseracing doing on ESPN at 1:00 on Saturday in October?), ESPN is worthless. Thanks for giving me second helpings of World Championship Poker and Arena League Football. I like watching shit nobody cares about!
But ESPN has topped itself by allowing Bill Simmons to remain one of its most recognized writers. They ALWAYS publish his stories on the front page. He is treated like a legitimate journalist, when he is, in fact, nothing more than a loudmouth Masshole. A 14 year old Sox/Pats/Celtics fan could do his job. I’m convinced he doesn’t even know other teams exist.
Is anything he does worth a shit? His podcast is the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever put in my ears since the last time I shoved feces into my ears. His columns haven’t been funny since before he was on the payroll at ESPN. And don’t give me that “ESPN killed his funny” shit. If I remember correctly, Simmons stopped writing to work for Jimmy Kimmel in LA for his night-time talk show. Has that show EVER been funny? Even for a second? Conclusion: nothing Bill Simmons does is funny and, when employed as a comedic entertainer, that makes Bill Simmons worthless.
Were ESPN to treat all MLB teams like the Red Sox, there would be a dedicated journalist for each team, each responsible for covering the minutiae of the club to a degree that nobody outside of the marketing area can stand. But they don’t do that. Why? Because its FUCKING BORING. And that’s all Billy-Boy is good for.Yes, its true, Bill Simmons.
YOU ARE FUCKING BORING.
suck it, hater. waaaah waaah waaaaaaaah. go red sox!
That’s a great response. Thanks for confirming that all of you have become insufferable hypocrites since 2004. I’m a lifelong Yankee fan, ordinarily embarrassed to admit that because of the behavior of some of the fans. But the city of Boston was clearly meant to suffer years of humiliating defeat, at least then you were charming to the national sports fan. Now you’re a more irritating, uninformed version of a Yankees fan. Congrats on winning the ‘07 Series, I hope that by 2012 every real fan in Boston is surrounded by these fake bandwagon fans that come out of the woodwork.
You can keep Dane Cook. Simmons has become the epitome (not opitimy like some critics have written) of an irritating, self-righteous homer. Read is NFL picks for Week 10. They’re buried beneath his ridiculous comparison between the Pats/Colts and the movie Victory. If anyone’s a Nazi, it’s Belichek, not Dungy or Peyton. Get your references right jackass.
I wholeheartedly agree. I have a friend who is a “Red Sox fan” who can’t name anyone on the team other than Ortiz or Manny!!!
Simmons sucks cum.
I’m sure Shoeless Joe is just a yankee fan who cant stand Simmons or Red Sox fans for that. Simmons is the man, people love to read him. Also, I’m sure shoeless joe is just bitter because he isn’t making six figures to write about sports like Simmons.
Hey hunny, take the tampon out, would ya? Would you be saying this is you made Simmons’ mailbag? Haha, I can tell you’ve tried cause any sane person wouldn’t spend the time to write such poo-poo about one person if they didn’t feel hurt…It’s alright, alot of people are sensitive, mainly woman but still.
Brett: I’d love to make the money, but if it means selling my soul like Bill Simmons has done, I’ll pass for now.
Sunshine: I haven’t tried to get in Simmons’s mailbag. I can’t really think of anything I’d less want to do. Wait a second, I did. Its write one more word to you.
I’m not a hater. I’m an observant sports fan who tells it like I see it. Once a decent writer, BS has become something that he used to hate, and I’m calling him out about it. You all need to take off your Sportsguy t-shirts and realize that not everyone who talks shit about the Red Sox is a Yankees fan.
Wait, are you allowed to post a comment on you own piece? Doesn’t that violate some sort of blog etiquette?
Well Bill Simmons is too much of a pussy to have a comments page on the stuff he writes. SO the fact that this write faces his critics unlike the Sports douche who hides behind his mail box, shows he is not a asshat like Bill. Unless he uses his prego wife to write his shit…… Oh Bill did that too, and the Boston idiots ate it up.
Does he even write enough real columns these days to matter? Seems like it’s mostly a bunch of YouTube links or lame podcasts.
Bill Simmons is a god-awful sportswriter. Oh wait, does that guy even write about sports anymore? It’s more like a “Bill Simmons’ life” blog. Thanks a lot, ESPN, for giving us a window into the mind of some inane, impotent 40-year-old douchebag who’s in the midst of a full-blown mid-life crisis. And the sad thing is, he really thinks that people give a shit about his man-crush on his dad or the context of his mind-dump conversations with J-Bug or P-Dog.
Have any of you ever listened to his podcast? I made the horrific mistake of clicking on the link to it this one time, and his screeching voice shattered my eardrums and I started bleeding out of all the orifices in my face.
He sounds like that gay guy on Family Guy, except his voice is five registers higher. Bats can’t even screech that high.
I like him and i dont love boston sports so there
How can Bill Simmons be a sportswriter when he openly admits to being biased in favor of The Celtics, The Red Sox, and The Patriots? You know these teams and their rivals, so basically his columns write themselves; all of this without a real shred of insight or wit.
Bill Simmons was at least funny at one point. The fact that he is so lazy now that we get a “podcast” Now that is some dogshit. We get to listen to him call his friends and talk about how they stroke each other over their fantasy football teams. I stopped going to ESPN.COM for this very reason. He is lamer than Stuart Scotts dead eye.